Ch. Master Greg Moody, Ph.D.

The Podcast:

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

All right, welcome to Parenting: The Ultimate Guide to Effective And Caring Discipline Part 2. I’m really excited to have Senior Master Laura Sanborn here to be part of this today. We covered The Ultimate Guide to Effective and Caring Discipline Part 1 last time. Master Sanborn, what were your thoughts after we finished that last time?

Laura Sanborn, Sr. Master Instructor:

Really, it’s useful both at home and here, and because we use that here in our martial arts school, a lot of our parents from here see it, and as they see it, they are able to take it home and use it effectively at home. We often recommend the Phelan 1-2-3 Magic book to them as well so they can read about it as well and implement it, but a lot of them see it modeled, and they’ll even ask us, “Oh, that really worked. What parts of that can I use at home?,” and so we’ll go over that with them in that way, so it’s useful in many different formats and many different places.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Yeah. Yeah, maybe to say it another way is when parents are asking us how to help their kids at home, one of the ways that they can help their kids is just watch how our instructors teach our students, and how they teach our students, how they interact with each other, how they teach even our adult students, we use the same system that we’re talking about right now on the floor. We use it when we interact with students if they’re having some issues. We use it when we interact with students when a parent comes to us and says they’re having a problem with bullying at school, and they’re having a problem with discipline at school, and they’re having a problem in lots of other areas. We’re going to be covering at a later podcast how to motivate your kids for improved behavior and success, so this is about how to manage discipline at home, how to make sure your kids are behaving, but also how they’re doing the right things, how they’re doing the things you want them to do at home at the most basic level, and this is the first step in how we manage on the classroom and it’s applicable.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

We really built this from what parents should be doing and what parents can do to have a great relationship with their kids and have good success with their kids at home, so let’s get started with this on part two and so we can finish this up today. The Effective And Caring Discipline is about what we talked about last time, and again, here’s some qualifications from us. You can see a few things with our books at Amazon/author/Gregmoody, and you can go to drgregmoody.com to see a little bit more, but just a quick wrap up on what we talked about last time, one thing we talked about was the two things that you need to remember, the little adult assumption and the second thing was less talk and less emotion when you’re dealing with high energy and high-end problem behavior. Little adult assumption means that we don’t assume that our kids are little adults. We assume that they’re kids, and if they made a mistake or they did something wrong, that they knew they did something wrong and having a long conversation about why they shouldn’t do this or why they shouldn’t break the lamp, or why they shouldn’t hit their sister, or why they …

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

That’s an irrelevant conversation. We need to move forward and decide what to do next, and we’ll talk about what that’s going to be, and less talking and less emotion is always going to be the best strategy. Our phrase on that is the emotion that you need to show is the emotion that they need, not what you feel. Sometimes they do something hilarious, but you need to be calm and stern because that’s not a behavior we want to have them continue. Sometimes they do something that’s really upsetting for them, and the behavior that they need is for you to be empathetic and caring, not to be also upset and emotional, so as adults and parents, we have to be understanding what emotion is necessary for the time.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

These two things, little adult assumption … Less talk, less emotion was one thing. We did talk a little bit about attachment versus authenticity and how parents can create both of those, healthy attachment and healthy authenticity for their children, so I recommend you look at part one. You’ll still get a lot out of what we do today, and the last thing was making sure you have very clear ideas, both for you and all caregivers of what’s expected of kids so you have very clear communication for what’s expected of kids during their time at home while they’re, what they’re expected for, when they should get up, what they should do in their room, what they should do, and all the behaviors in their job charts that we may give them in our Martial Arts program that they take home, how much of that they’re supposed to get done, what their expectations at school are, so that all the caregivers and all the parenting figures in their life are doing the same thing. Let’s talk about during part one. We promised during part two here that we give you what to do next.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Now, you have a problem behavior, you’ve done all these things, and what happens next? What we’re going to talk about is now that you defined what the target behaviors are for your kid, we’ll draw that as a T kind of in the center, and assuming they’re doing target behaviors, imagine that this is kind of the center of our target like a bullseye, and imagine that’s the regular target. You have a target with a couple circles, and if you’re shooting an arrow, you want to hit the bullseye of the target, so we put the target behaviors in the center. Then, the circle outside, we’re going to call these off-target. They’re a little bit off-target. Maybe they’re supposed to …

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

In our martial arts school, what we’d say is they’re supposed to stand really strict at attention and have their hands in a certain place. Maybe they’re not standing exactly the way we want them, or they’re not in, on a knee the way we want them, or they’re not doing some move that we want them to do a certain way, so it’s a little bit off-target. Then, the third layer would be right outside of this circle, which would be what we call consequence or … Well, this would be consequence behavior. This would be a behavior that we need to stop immediately, or a behavior that’s gone on long enough, so maybe it’s an off-target behavior that’s happened over time, it just continues to happen, and it doesn’t get better, and then there needs to be some sort of consequence. Let’s talk about what we do in each of these three situations.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Well, the off-target one is what people are really good at. So somebody does something a little bit wrong. A kid does something a little bit wrong, your child is a little bit late when you’re trying to get them ready for going to school, they’re not putting their clothes away right, what do you do? Well, there’s two things that people should do or could do, and the first one, typically, people are really good at. The first one people are really good at most of the time is correction.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Correction means you tell them what they did wrong. You just tell them, “Hey, you’re late. Let’s make sure we’re on time. We’ve got five minutes left.” You give them some kind of correction.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Pretty straightforward. Everybody’s really good at that. In fact, sometimes people are too good at that, they correct them more than they need to. Now, if there’s other kids around or there’s other behaviors to model, the other thing that we really like doing here is reinforce others. We could say positively reinforce others.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

In our school or in elementary schools, teachers do this really, really well. If a kid’s not sitting at their desk quietly, they’ll maybe say something like, “Wow, I noticed that Johnny’s sitting at his desk quietly” to the kid that’s doing it really well, or if a kid is not, even for a schoolwork, they might pay attention to the kid who’s doing their schoolwork really, really well. “This handwriting looks really, really good. Look at these things,” so they’re going to pay attention and notice target behavior. They’re noticing, reinforce others with target behavior, and that will very frequently make the other child correct their behavior.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

If you’ve got an only child or if that interaction doesn’t work well with your kids, this may not work as well, but reinforcing others, generally, people do this really well. Okay. For off-target behavior, we’ve got kind of those two tools in our toolbox. You can correct them or you can reinforce others. Now, the one that people don’t use very much, which seems like they should, and people tell me they do, but they really don’t, is what happens when people are consistently doing target behavior?

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

They’re consistently on time, they’re always on time, they’re always putting their clothes away, they’re always putting their toys away, they’re always putting, or for adults, they’re always turning in their stuff at work, they’re always doing a great job, in our case, our martial arts school, they’re always wearing their uniform correctly. Their uniform’s always clean. Maybe at your work, somebody who’s always turning in their paperwork correctly. They’re always on time. I used that one already, but they’re always …

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

You can help me out with some of these, Master Sanborn. They’re always really pleasant with the other employees and the other staff. What are some other ones?

Laura Sanborn, Sr. Master Instructor:

They do their paperwork on time. Ihey [crosstalk 00:10:13]-

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

I gave that one. That must be fixation for both of us.

Laura Sanborn, Sr. Master Instructor:

Did you give that one? It is. It is. Filling out their time card, being cheerful all the time, coming in with the right attitude, that they’re ready to work, and when they come into work, they’re ready to rock, they’re ready to do whatever they’re supposed to do, they’re prepared ahead of time.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Yeah, prepared ahead of time. Maybe they’re following all the company procedures, all that stuff. Those are target behaviors, and maybe your whole group is doing that. Most of the time, those things get ignored. Most of the time, those things get ignored.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

I’m pausing a little bit in this moment because for everybody listening, you got to stop and think about all the things that people are supposed to do. Now, I’m not suggesting that we need to reinforce people for breathing, or we need to reinforce people for walking upright, or sitting down properly, but there’s a lot of things that if your company is run well, or your households run well, or your schools run well, or your, just interpersonal relationships are going well, there’s a lot of things that are done correctly and done well, and often, the longer they’re done well, the more we tend to ignore them. Now, I’ve told this to elementary school teachers a lot, and they often say to me, “Well, no, I reinforce kids all the time. I’m very frequently reinforcing kids for good behavior.” I asked the next question.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

The next question is, “Okay. Well, the last couple times you told a kid they did a good job, was it because the kid did a good job and all the other kids were also doing a good job, or maybe they were just doing a good job and the other kids were neutral, or was it because you also had another kid in the classroom that was doing something wrong?” Every time I ask this, they say, and it doesn’t mean that all teachers maybe listened to this are in the same boat, but every time I’ve asked this, they say, “Well, now that I think about it, when I did reinforce another child, it was because there was somebody else in the classroom that was doing something wrong.” They’re noticing negative behavior, and that’s when they notice positive behavior. Most people notice when somebody does something right if it’s new behavior, if they were doing something wrong, and now they’re doing it correctly, or they’re doing something correct when somebody else is doing something incorrect, so it’s always in contrast to this off-target behavior.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

What we want to start getting good at, and here I am to tell you that it is unnatural, is we need to do massive reinforcement of target behavior, so if people are doing stuff well, again, not breathing, not walking upright, not stuff we would just expect them to do, but if people are doing things well, they’re showing up on time, they’re doing all the stuff that we talked about, that they do get some reinforcement on a regular basis. This isn’t us being extra nice. This isn’t us being pie in the sky, super pleasant to everybody. This is so we’re down-to-earth, wanting success for ourselves as parents, as instructors, as teachers so that we get the best results possible, because if we massively reinforce behavior that’s good, then there won’t be nearly as much off-target behavior. Okay.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Again, I want to emphasize that enough. We spent a lot of time on that, because this is the one that mostly gets ignored. When you’re full, when your stomach is full, when everything’s satisfied, you generally ignore it. You only remember things when you’re a little bit hungry, and that’s when the off-target behavior, when you’re noticing when something’s negative. Massive reinforcement for target behavior, off-target behavior, you have corrections, and then reinforce others.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

That’s a great tool to use, to reinforce others when you can. Now, let’s talk about consequence behavior. Consequence behaviors, two things. Number one, something that [inaudible 00:15:04]- Sorry, Master Sanborn.

Laura Sanborn, Sr. Master Instructor:

Hey, Greg, I have a comment on massive reinforcement.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Oh, go ahead. Go ahead.

Laura Sanborn, Sr. Master Instructor:

Massive does not mean it has to be a large thing. It means you’re doing it consistently and doing it often. It doesn’t have to be a big gesture like, “Oh, you’ve been so good at being on time. Here’s a raise” for an employee, or for a kid, “Here’s a brand new Xbox because you cleaned your room this week.” It’s just noticing that and doing something so the child or the person feels noticed and can recognize that they’re being noticed for that behavior. Massive doesn’t mean it has to be a great, big, out of context event.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Yeah, I think there’s a miscommunication sometimes or misperception, where if you were in a meeting at work and everybody shows up on time, and they’re always on time at 9:00 for your weekly meeting, everybody’s on time for 9:00, and you just said out of the blue, “Hey, you guys. I really appreciate you guys always being on time for the 9:00 meeting. It means we can really get to work and get all of our stuff done,” and get out of here right on time, and you said that every once in a while, I think there’s a misperception that if you did that, people will be a little more relaxed about showing up on time because they feel like that was extra credit. It was better than expected behavior to be on time, but no. You’re just telling them that you really appreciate that. What it’s going to do is it’s going to tend to make them more consistently on time.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Even though it sounds like they’re always on time, it’s going to continue to reinforce that that’s on time, and there’s something that before our meeting, we were talking about called tribal behavior. If you say that, and everybody’s consistently on time and a new person comes into the group, and they hear that once in a while, they’re going to know the expectation is to no matter what, always be on time. They’re going to know that this group is always on time. They could never be late, or they’re going to be not well-thought-of.

Laura Sanborn, Sr. Master Instructor:

Thought of, personnel.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Right, exactly, so it’s an important tool to use, and again, massive is … That’s right. We mean massive reinforcement should be, imagine what the world would be like if your target behaviors that you really want to get reinforced are more consistently reinforced than negative behaviors, than off-target behaviors. Imagine if that was the way it was. You’d have a tighter control of the target behaviors that you want, and nobody would be unhappy.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

What ends up happening is, when we get to consequence behaviors, it’ll make sense, there’s more conflict because people wait till behaviors get more negative, and that’s when they start paying attention, and that’s when they start giving some sort of correction or negative reinforcement or punishment. Let’s talk about consequence behaviors now. Consequence behaviors are two things. One is either off-target behaviors over a long period of time, they’re continually not turning their paperwork in, they’re continually not cleaning the room, they’re continually not doing something right, and eventually, you got to say, “Look, we need to have some consequence. We need to change the process, or we need to have a consequence,” or let’s use a classical one, one sibling hit another sibling. Okay, that’s an immediate consequence.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

We’re going to use less talk and less emotion. We’re not going to have a conversation about it. We already know what’s wrong. Nobody needs to have a conversation about it. One of the siblings knew that they shouldn’t have hit their brother, or one of them knew they shouldn’t have hit their sister, so we immediately have a consequence.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Now, the consequence we recommend, and a lot of times, this consequence is misunderstood, so it’s misused, it would be a timeout for the number of minutes equal to their age. Now, let me explain how a timeout should be used. Timeout would be, they would, “Okay.” I’m going to explain how to use it in a little more detail in a second. Timeout would be used, they would go to somewhere, some space, like their room, it’s equal to the number of minutes, equal their age, so if they’re four years old, it’d be four minutes, and they go to their room.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

At the end of four minutes, they just come out, and you’d be done. There’s no conversation because the conversation isn’t necessary. There was a consequence that everything stopped, the behavior got behavior-triggered this consequence, they knew what was wrong, and the four minutes was up. Now, there’s a couple variations of this that we’ll talk about in a second. More often, it’s not a severe consequence, or a severe behavior like that.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

We don’t have a lot of siblings hitting each other. Some of you guys might think on the call, “Oh, it happens all the time,” but let’s think about some more less severe consequences. Maybe the behavior’s just more consistently bad. That’s consistently bad behavior. Then, we’d use what we call 1-2-3.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Again, we recommend the book 1-2-3 Magic, but the consequence would be triggered by us counting. “That’s one, that’s two, that’s three,” with about a five-second delay. I did that a little faster than we’d normally do it, so, “That’s one, that’s two, that’s three.” As soon as we do that, the child would know that the, “That’s one” indicates that the number two is going to come up, and that two indicates number three is going to come up. On three, it triggers the time out.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Now, where this is almost always done incorrectly is it sounds like this, “That’s one. Now, if you don’t do whatever the behavior is better, I’m going to count to two. You better fix it. You better fix it, or I’m going to count to two. You better fix it.”

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

“Okay, that’s two. Now, you better really fix it, or otherwise I’m going to get to three. Now, you better do it, or otherwise, I’m going to get to three, and then you’re going to have a timeout, and better get to three, and then three.” That will never work. It’s never worked in history, it’s never going to work in the future, it’s never going to work.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

The reason is, is because the reason you’re counting is the corrections didn’t work. If the corrections worked, and all that, blah, blah, blah stuff I just said worked, you wouldn’t have to count. The reason you’re counting is, is because the corrections and the reinforcement, all the other stuff you did for the off-target behavior didn’t work. If you were able to say, “Stop doing that,” and they stopped, and you were back to target behavior, there’d be no reason for counting, so counting is going to happen when you need to stop the behavior, “You’re done, and that’s one. There’s no more talking, that’s two.”

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

“That’s three. Okay, time out.” Now, at that point, if the kid’s upset, wants to negotiate, whatever, doesn’t matter. The timeout occurs 100% of the time no matter what. There’s no discussion about it.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

No talking, no emotion, no anything. It just happens. At the end of the timeout, you’re done. No talking, no emotion. You start over.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Kid behaves bad again, that’s one. Then, they know that that’s one indicates what’s going to happen next. The child’s learning that that’s one indicates the next sequence of events. Now, I’ll tell you two stories about this. One story is my son was diagnosed with autism when he was two, so he couldn’t speak or understand language normally until later.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Now, you would never know that. He’s one of our instructors and does great, and very successful in college, and a lot of that’s because of this type of skill work that we did with him, but when he was three, I used this system, and he wouldn’t really understand what that’s one meant, but all I had to do was this. I didn’t explain this system to him. You don’t have to explain this system. You don’t have to explain, “Okay now. Here, we got a new system in place.”

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

“If I say that’s one, this is what’s going to happen. If I say that’s two …” You don’t have to do any of that. The way you implement the system is, just like I did, one day he was doing something, he was throwing toys around. I just said, “That’s one,” and I did this, so he saw the visual, which we recommend you use a visual. He didn’t know what to do because he never seen that before.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

I said, “That’s two.” Never seen the visual. He never heard about this before. Said, “That’s three.” I said, “That’s timeout,” and I took him to his room, and that was it.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Here’s three, so it was three minutes, he came back out. He was out of the behavior that he was doing, now he came back, everything’s fine. The next time this happened, the very next time, he was doing something wrong. I said, “That’s one,” and he stopped doing what he was doing, because he knew what was going to happen next. The other example was I was teaching, I was doing martial arts teaching, consulting at a school in New Jersey, and I was telling the instructor that owned the school of the system, and I was watching out on the floor, and the class was not running well.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

It was a bunch of very young kids, three, four and five-year-old kids. Class is not running well, and I was getting irritated with it, and I was saying, “Well, this is the system you should use,” and he goes, “Well, yeah. I don’t know. That’s not going to work for those guys,” and I said, “Oh, yeah?,” and so I just walked down on the floor and I did exactly this, and I said, “That’s one. One of the kids was misbehaving.”

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

I said, “That’s one.” The entire class stopped because they stared at me, because they know what that meant, and the kid looked at me and he kept misbehaving. The rest of the class stopped. I said, “That’s two.” Again, there’s no preamble, no discussion, no negotiation, no conversation needed.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

I said, “That’s three.” The kid was out. He was four, so he stayed out for four minutes. He didn’t really know why. He doesn’t need to know why. He knew he was misbehaving.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

You don’t need to explain why they’re misbehaving. They already got corrected a dozen times by then because the instructor didn’t have control of the class, but he was telling the kid what he did wrong, so after four minutes, kid came back in, the whole class was fine. The whole class, in fact, was perfect, the entire rest of the class. Now, if anybody in the class had misbehaved, I would’ve done this, the class would’ve been perfect, so the system is very good as long as you follow some of those rules, but again, I end up seeing it degenerate if parents or instructors or teachers go, “That’s one. Now, you better fix it. Otherwise …”

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Now, what did I do? I said, “That’s one,” and then I started doing correction. Once you go to outside of this circle, out of off-target behavior, you’re not allowed to do correction anymore. After the timeout and they come back in, assume they’re back to target behavior, so now they’re back here, and the whole thing resets. Everything resets, and you don’t get to do correction anymore.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Okay, so that’s the system. There’s target behavior, there’s off-target behavior, and there’s consequence, and that’s it. Now, let me … Master Sanborn, anything to add right there before I move on to some variations of timeouts?

Laura Sanborn, Sr. Master Instructor:

Yes, sir. The strongest point about this is that there is no emotion with one, two, three. The kid doesn’t feel like you’re mad at him, he comes right back into class, everything starts over again or right back to target behavior, there’s no big emotion back and forth. The kid now feels all destroyed because you’re mad at him and holding that against you. “I hate mom because she hates me.”

Laura Sanborn, Sr. Master Instructor:

It covers all of that with just simple “One, two, three, you’re out. Sit down. Come back in,” and you start over again. There’s no discussion when they come back in on why they were out or what they were supposed to do while they were out, or they should have thought about it while they were out.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Yeah. Yeah.

Laura Sanborn, Sr. Master Instructor:

It stops it.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Yeah, there’s no, “At the end of the timeout now, I’m going to let you back in, but make sure you don’t do that before. I hope you thought about it. That was really bad, what you did.” No, there’s absolutely zero of that. Four minutes are up, back in. Now, if the kid was misbehaving in the timeout with the mom or they were screaming or yelling or something, we might have to reset the timeout, that’s a variation of it, but that’s, for us, when we’re teaching our class, that’s only because usually, the parent that has the child if they’re having to monitor the child, they’re having a discussion and they’re not following what we’re saying, then they’re having a conversation, and their job is just to shut up and not say anything. Their job is to sit with the kid. That’s it. At the end of the four minutes, if the kid’s four, five minutes, the kid’s five, the kid comes back in, and we’re done. Now, part of the reason of the timeout …

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Let’s explain the use of the timeout. It’s to give them a moment, it’s to give you a moment. If they go in their room and that’s where the timeout is, if they throw everything in their room around, let them throw everything in the room around. It’s to stop the behavior you were dealing with then. Don’t try to judge the different behaviors because now, what’s happening is you’re creating a system where the child who’s very smart can start controlling your behavior.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

You have to … This is a little variation of the timeout. Sometimes we’ll get a situation also where timeout happens, Child comes back in, and they do the same behavior again. If the timeout doesn’t seem to be effective, you may need to come up with a different consequence behavior, so as this system works, it will work fine even with teenagers, but this particular timeout may not work. It may need to be something else, so you may need to come up with a different consequence behavior, but for the elementary age group, preschool to elementary age, timeout works really well. Almost all cases.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Sometimes some children with certain developmental disabilities, timeout might not be … They may not be able to sit by themselves, so there may be some other thing that you need to use, or it may be a smaller or a shorter timeout, but it may be just as effective. If a child had a particular developmental disability, maybe a one-minute timeout would be plenty, and then they’d be able to handle that coming back. They just come back in, and then you’re done, and then everything’s fine. Understand that there are some variations of this, but for the 95% of the population, this is exactly how you follow.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Don’t get confused by what I just said though, that everything’s going to be different and you got to customize it for everybody. This is exactly how you’d start out, and what Master Sanborn is saying is exactly right, is no talking, no emotion, or less talking, and very little emotion when you do any of this, and no negotiation. It’s not negotiating, and you’re not having a long conversation with them. This applies at home, at school, and anywhere else. Anything else to add there, Master Sanborn?

Laura Sanborn, Sr. Master Instructor:

No, sir.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Okay. This is the system you use. We promised you what to do. Now, this is for stopping behaviors and managment of behaviors for effective and caring discipline. That’s what we’re doing here.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

For caring discipline, we’re reinforcing target behaviors. That’s our ideal situation, so reinforcing target behaviors. Hopefully, once we do this really well, everything stays at a good target behavior. If it gets a little bit off, it gets a little bit off, we’re going to correct and reinforce others if we can, if they’re available. If you’ve got one child, then you might find other methods to reinforce.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

You could reinforce somebody that you saw on TV that’s doing something well. That’s another way to do it, but in general, then you’re going to be using correction, and then if something needs it, consistent off-target behaviors, that’s the most common, or more severe things, you might count, “One, that’s two, that’s three,” without any additional comment, and timeout equal or age, and that’s your basic system for everything you need, again, for managing effective and caring discipline. For starting behaviors and motivation, that’s going to be a different podcast, and we’ll talk about that for motivating expanding behaviors for success and growth. We’re going to work on at a different time, and thank you, everybody for being here. Master Sanborn, anything else to, before we wrap up?

Laura Sanborn, Sr. Master Instructor:

No, sir.

Dr. Greg Moody, LAC, Chief Master Instructor:

Okay. Well, thank you very much, everybody. I appreciate you listening to our podcast, and we’ll look forward to seeing you the next time.

Check out the Podcast!

Dr. Moody is also a licensed psychotherapist and maintains a practice at Integrated Mental Health Associates (IntegratedMHA.com) where he specializes in couples therapy and mens issues.