Ch. Master Greg Moody, Ph.D.

The Podcast:

Dr. Greg Moody (00:03):
Welcome! Thanks a lot to everybody for being here for our success training with me, Dr. Greg Moody and Laura Sanborn, Senior Master Instructor. You can read a little bit about us, but let’s move forward. Because we got a lot to cover today. Thanks for being here, Master Sanborn. Yes, sir. All right. We’re gonna talk about bullying prevention today. One of my favorite topics, not because it’s a good thing, but because it’s an important thing to talk about. So we’re gonna talk about mistruths and what to do. You can see a copy of our life skills of leaders book, but we’re gonna be bringing out our bullying prevention book soon. So that’s what we’re gonna talk about mainly today, the content of our bullying prevention book, that’s coming out soon. So let’s dig right into it today and I’m gonna we’re gonna cover a lot of things today. First of all, bullying and why it’s different. So bullying is different from another topic that we really like to talk about as well, because it’s important, but, but let’s cover the difference bullying versus conflict
Dr. Greg Moody (01:06):
Bullying versus conflict.
Dr. Greg Moody (01:10):
So what people get confused about is they see the term bullying gets bandied about a lot in today’s day and age, and you hear it really popularized on TV. And you hear a lot of a lot of really bad stories about bullying, and there should be a lot of really bad stories about bullying because it’s a, it’s a pretty bad thing. And we’ll talk about why it’s really bad in ways that you may not know. And that’s why the title of the book is gonna be myths and truths because there’s a lot of myths about bullying, but what becomes difficult is is identifying what conflict is and what bullying is conflict is when people are just arguing, it could be people arguing, Fighting, Disagreeing having throw things in here, Master Sanborn, if you want they could be they could be just having a difference of opinion. There’s all kinds of conflict as even violence.
Dr. Greg Moody (02:23):
Violence would be conflict there. You know, when people go to war there’s, that’s conflict that isn’t now there could be some bullying involved, but conflict doesn’t presume bullying. We’re gonna talk about what bullying is next. So conflict is one side of it happens a lot and you’re not gonna get rid of all conflict just as we’re not gonna get rid of all bullying. But it’s important to know that when people are in conflict, there’s different rules to follow. And we have a whole different seminar that we teach on how to deal with conflict in resolving conflict, but you can’t use the same rules. It, there are different rules and we’re gonna see why any other conflict ones to add there, master Sam warfighting. <Inaudible> no, sir. Okay. So, but there’s a lot of other types of conflict, but if we’re talking about kids in particular, cuz we work with a lot of kids.
Dr. Greg Moody (03:15):
If, for parents and educators and for people that are working with kids if you’re seeing kids getting an argument fighting you have to know the difference between these two things. Arguing, fighting, disagreeing, they’ve tightened over a toy. They’re tough fighting over what to use on the playground. They’re saying, oh, he said this and she said that or he said this and he said that she said this. She said that that often is conflict. And the problem is it’s hard for people for adults to know the difference. In fact, even in work environments, you see if you’re a boss and you see two of your staff members arguing or fighting or complaining they’re there. That happens all the time, right? The rules for dealing with that are conflict resolution rules. And we’ll, that’s again a different seminar. We love teaching that as well, but they’re different rules bullying. Let’s go over now, bullying it’s aggressive behavior and it’s intended to hurt.
Dr. Greg Moody (04:22):
So it it’s intended to hurt. Now the difference is you might say, well in conflict, they’re intended to hurt. Well, not necessarily. I’m fighting with you over what I want. I, I don’t necessarily intend to hurt you. I just want what I want. So, you know, if I want the toy, if I’m a kid or if I’m an adult and I want my, you know, I want it my way. I just want it my way, because I want the I, if I’m an adult, if I, if, if you’re my spouse and I’m your I’m your spouse and I want the toothpaste to rolled up a certain way, we’re fighting over that. I just want it my way. I’m not necessarily trying to hurt your feelings. I just want it my way. That’d be a silly thing to fight over, but people fight over that kind of stuff all the time. You know, or I want the, I want the kitchen to be cleaned up a certain way and you want the kitchen to be cleaned up a different way. That’s not intending to hurt. Now. Maybe hurtful if may end up being a hurtful situation afterwards, but bullying would be intended to hurt. I’m intending. That’s one characteristic. There’s a couple more we’re gonna cover, but there’s an intention to hurt that could be in conflict, but bullying. It would. That’s one of the characteristics. The second characteristic is it’s usually repeated.
Dr. Greg Moody (05:34):
Now. I say usually usually means it could be just a one time thing, but it’s severe. So it’s usually repeated, Usually repeated over time. So this is something that’s intended to hurt. They do it consistently. So it could be small. Could be somebody bothering another person daily. Now I try to, we generally are talking about kids here, guys, but this could be for adults as well. Could be somebody at work. That’s bothering somebody every day. If you watch the movie office space, you saw some bullying going on there. I won’t go into detail about that. And the third thing that’s really critical to know the differences. There’s an imbalance of power,
Dr. Greg Moody (06:26):
An imbalance of power. So the classic example of that is a bigger kid, bullying a little kid. So two kids fighting on the playground. They’re both in they’re both the same size they’re fighting over something likely not bullying, but a fourth grader bothering a first grader and they’re doing it consistently over time. It’s pretty hard for the first grader to fight back. They don’t really have any power in that situation. So that would be a situation that probably is bullying. So bullying has, there’s a lot of consequences of this because of that imbalance of power. There’s. It will talk about the details of that, but it becomes a lot more traumatic and it becomes a lot more difficult for the person that’s getting bullied to overcome the situation now in my world, because I deal with a lot of martial artists. There’s a, and, and even outside of martial arts, there’s a lot of this idea that, well, if they just, you know, if they just like, you know, the, the smaller kid punch, the bigger kid, if they just, if they just stuck up for themselves, that bigger kid is gonna go away, that’ll solve the problem.
Dr. Greg Moody (07:42):
Well, that’s not gonna solve the problem in most of the cases because this imbalance of power is part of the situation. I hear that all the time and we’ll see later why that’s not very good advice if it did work, okay, that’d be fine. But in most cases that’s not gonna work and is generally not very good advice. Also, that’s not very well supported by the school system or the environment and the adults around. So we’ll talk about why that’s probably not gonna be a good good situation to to, to give advice about so conflict, but let’s start here. The first idea here is conflict and bullying are different. Conflict is the act of some sort of disagreement con arguing, fighting opinions, violence, any kind of misunderstandings between two people. There’s something coming up between two people. It’s not necessarily could be hurtful, but it’s not necessarily intended to hurt two people want their way differently. Okay. Bullying it’s intended to hurt. It’s repeated. Usually over time, doesn’t have to be, or it could be one time severe. And there’s imbalance of power that imbalance of power will help you identify when it’s bullying or not. Be really careful about just identifying something that’s bullying because it’s something popular in today’s day and age, instead of in, instead of conflict Master Sanborn, anything to add there

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