Ch. Master Greg Moody, Ph.D.

P.S. The Transcript – The KarateBuilt Charter:

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

Welcome, everybody, to another KarateBuilt Success Seminar. I am Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Instructor, and I am pleased to have as usual Senior Master Laura Sanborn here. Thanks a lot for being here, ma’am.

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

Absolutely, sir. Looking forward to it.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

From our Cave Creek location. And then we have Mr. Dwayne Flees, who we are working on getting him to test so he becomes a master pretty soon. And from the Grand Rapids location. Thanks for being here, sir.

Mr. Dwayne Flees:

Yes, sir. Absolutely.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

All right. I had to squeeze that in there a little bit. All right, so we’re going to talk about our topic today is, as we have in the last few podcasts, talk about our KarateBuilt Charter. It’s the guiding principles for how we operate in our school and the one piece we’re going to talk about is taking responsibility. I’m really excited about this one today. Here’s some background from all of us here, but one thing that we have in our charter, and we’ve talked about being a disciplined school, that we measure results based not on who we exclude, but who we include and on students’ constant growth from the moment they start to black belt and beyond. Last time we talked about black belt and beyond and this time we’re going to talk about how KarateBuilt black belts take responsibility to lead with integrity. So we’re going to talk about the responsibility section today.

Next time we’ll talk about how we lead with integrity. And so this is the key point and, first of all, I wanted to talk about, it’s going to be coming up in my upcoming book on excuses, excuses versus responsibility. Excuses are any reason you have not to do something, or not to succeed, or not to accomplish something. So excuses are when we say to somebody, “Well, I was late because of traffic.” Well, that excuse reason really didn’t need to be included most of the time. And in fact, what we’re going to talk about in that book is you really never need to make excuses or use excuses. And we commonly hear people say, “Well, I’m not making an excuse, but.” And then the next thing they say is an excuse for whatever didn’t happen. I’m not making an excuse, but it was the other person’s fault for this.

And it’s almost like a programmed response for people that, and we actually have another podcast on excuses, but it’s almost like a program response for people if they fail or let you down or don’t accomplish something that they have to give you a reason why that wasn’t their fault. So that’s the opposite of taking responsibility. Taking responsibility would be, or it could either be just, I’m sorry that I was late. I’m responsible I’m late. I don’t have to give you a bunch of reasons why somebody else swerved in front of me or traffic or anything else or that I got up late. I don’t have to tell you those things. I don’t have to tell you why even I was at fault. Taking responsibility means we’re going to be responsible for what our actions are. What kind of things do you guys want to add to that? I kind of talked for a little bit there.

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

Well, it usually finishes, if you’re taking responsibility, it finishes with so this is how I’m going to do better next time. This is what I’m going to change to be better at it rather than traffic always sucks at seven o’clock when I have to go to work. Okay, then you need to leave an extra 10 minutes early because you know it’s always going to be that way. So responsibility means you’re going to fix it. This is how you’re going to fix it, not this is why it happened.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s a fair statement. Now, I do understand and I get push back, I know my son was arguing with me about this topic, sometimes it wasn’t anything you could control. So it’s outside of your control. Normally you leave at 7:00 AM, you get to work at 7:45 and you’re 15 minutes early for work every day. There’s a big traffic accident. I don’t know why I keep using the late example, but it seems like a common problem for people. It’s a big traffic accident, but instead of going, “Well, I’m late, but there was a lot of traffic on the road, so now you have to placate me. You have to be nice to me.” Okay. Sorry you went through that instead of I let you down because I was late, so I might say instead just, “Hey, I’m sorry I was late. I know I put you out for a few minutes while you were waiting.”

That’s it. That’s it. You don’t need to add these other things. So even if it is out of your control. Now, if it is in your control, you said it exactly right. Then do something about it. That would also be the responsible action. Mr. Flees, you were going to say something?

Mr. Dwayne Flees:

Yes, sir. Hi, thanks for bringing up my lack of testing for fifth degree. I don’t have any excuse for that. I’m trying to do better.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

Takes a lot in our responsibility. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mr. Dwayne Flees:

That’s all.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

That was it? Okay. All right, well, sorry about that. We want you to test for fifth degree so bad, so part of our responsibility is to push you a little bit. So that’s what we’re doing. Master Sanborn?

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

Yes, sir. Taking responsibility shows you value the other person versus …

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

That’s a great one. Yeah.

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

Yeah, versus, hey, I’m the important one, I’m late, but you have to live with it. Versus I’m sorry I put you out in whatever way it was, whether you had to wait for me, whether something didn’t get done because I was there to do it, whatever it is. When you take responsibility, you are letting the other person know that they are valuable and their time was valuable. And because it’s valuable, you realize it’s your fault and it’s not something they have to excuse. They don’t have to say that’s okay.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

Right. When we use the word fault, that triggers something in me because it isn’t necessarily a fault that has to be assigned.

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

True.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

You don’t have to assign it. I think there’s this idea that if you’re responsible for your environment and your world, that that means you’re at fault for everything and you can’t control everything. If you leave for work at 7:00 and you show up at 7:45 every single day and one day there’s a huge accident and something spills and you’re there at 8:30 and somebody had to wait for you, responsibility would mean that I might say, “Sorry, I was late and I know that puts you out and you had to wait a little while.” That means I’m responsible for not only what happened, but for I’m responsible for the fact that it’s late, regardless of it’s not a fault thing. It’s not a I did something wrong thing, whereas excuses end up in the category of I have to explain why I didn’t do something wrong.

And that’s mostly not necessary. It’s more necessary to take care of what needs to happen in the future or what needs to happen now. I mean, apologize, make you feel a little bit better that I realized your time was valuable, just like you said. I think that’s a great way to say it. So hopefully people get some of the idea of responsibility and what it means. It means I’m responsible what happens in my environment. I’m not responsible for assigning fault or blame. I’m responsible for taking action on whatever is happening now and what happens next.

It doesn’t mean we don’t make mistakes. Mistakes happen, but we’re going to be responsible for what mistakes we make and then take advantage of or do what we need to do to make decisions. For example, you guys have goals in your school, some business goals in your school of our members that come in and keeping our members. We track those numbers. We’re responsible for those numbers. We’re not responsible for figuring out if there’s something wrong. Responsibility is we do something about it. Excuses is we tell the story about why it’s not working out right. One of the numbers is, we’re going to talk about, responsibility of student and responsibilities of instructors that come up in a little bit, too. So let’s move on from here. I love what you guys said about all that.

We want to start with taking responsibility. What are some examples of taking responsibility if you’re one of our students? They have a whole list of things they have to do when they come into school. Our responsibility is creating that list, but their responsibility is a lot of things. They have a lot of responsibilities for putting their bag away, grabbing their card, being on time. If they were late, they have to raise their hand a certain way to come into class. So we teach this responsibility so that they learn self-discipline, discipline that they create themselves. What other responsibilities or, when you think about responsibility as a student, what do you guys think?

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

One of the things I think about is how we started from three years old and on, that even the expectations of a three-year-old is that they’re responsible for their stuff. They have to carry their own bag. Their parent doesn’t carry it for them once they’re in, so they have to carry their bag and put it where it belongs. They have to take their shoes off, put their shoes where they belong, they have to get their card. Even the little three-year-olds who can’t read get their card and put it where it belongs so that they hand it in, go to the restroom before they take class.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

I’m sorry to interrupt you. They can’t read, but they have their parent. Then they can ask their parent for help to help them find the card and then do it. So they can still do it. They can still be responsible for their card.

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

Yes. So we don’t excuse the youngest students from it even. It’s just part of the culture that we have, is that everybody’s responsible for the same thing from age three on up and there’s not an excuse accepted for not doing it. It’s just done. It’s part of what we do.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

Yeah, I love that. Mr. Flees, anything to add to that?

Mr. Dwayne Flees:

Yeah, even as far as being accountable for their own uniform and everything they need and their gear bag. I don’t let them blame their parents. Well, my mom washed my uniform or I don’t know where it’s or … Well, it’s your uniform. You should know where it is and you need to verify that before you leave home so that you can have all your stuff.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

I love that you said that and I think parents that are listening are going to love that just said that, that the kids are responsible. And I think sometimes as parents, there’s a challenge. And I work with a lot of parents in my therapy practice and in the school. I’ve done that for 30 years and there’s this challenge to know what the right thing to do is as a parent. How hard do I push my kid? We even have a podcast about pushing your kid. When is pushing okay, when’s it not, and when’s it critical and when it may be too much. So we have to start understanding that when we teach them responsibility at this age, even at three, or four, or five, or 10 years old, and we push them to have more responsibility on themselves and not make excuses and do the things this way, they’re going to be more successful people. If you take over for them in areas that they could accomplish themselves, we’re limiting their growth and their capabilities.

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

Yes.

Mr. Dwayne Flees:

Yes, sir.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

So we have a lot of things as a student. Responsibility as a student would be as they get higher in rank and higher and rank and higher and rank, we ask them to do more and more. That’s why what we do is very different from other activities, where if you’re working on, let’s say, softball and you want to be a good softball player, you’re working on the basic skills again and again and again to make that skill better. In our case, we’re teaching new stuff, new stuff, new stuff, new stuff, new stuff and more responsibility and more things for them to remember and learn and be capable of as they get higher rank. And one of those things, so I think the parents, what you just said, Mr. Flees, it’s a good segue. I want to come back to that for a second, that we help educate you guys as parents. And if you don’t know, please ask us what responsibility you need to take and what responsibility your kids need to take and to push them to do more.

But that leads us to the next one, which is responsibility as a parent. We ask our parents to be responsible for some things besides bringing them for class and being on time. Because if the kid isn’t on time and you probably have to drive them, you got to be responsible for that. What other things in terms of taking responsibility as a parent come to mind as all three of us are parents here of different aged kids?

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

One of them is pushing their kid. We expect the parents to push their kid and help them achieve things. We know that a three-year-old’s not going to be able to do it all by himself. They just can’t happen that way on some of the bigger things and we expect the parents to be the ones working with us to push their kid to achieve more.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

Well, just a slight correction there. What we really want the parents to do is to teach …

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

Teach their kids to push themselves.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

… their kids to push themselves.

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

Yes.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

That’s a really important concept at our school. We don’t want you to push your kids, we want you to teach your kids to push themselves, which is actually harder. We’re trying to get them to have the skills to push themselves. And if you don’t do that, unfortunately the consequences are very dire for your kids. If they don’t learn to push themselves, as soon as you’re away from them and they’re on their own, it’s going to be hard for them to be excited about achievement. Every time they come up to an obstacle, they’re going to give up. They’re going to be used to giving up because they haven’t pushed themselves. They haven’t learned to push themselves independently. So teaching them to push themselves as one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids.

In fact, that’s the definition of discipline in our Life Skills of Leaders book. When we look at it, our definition of discipline is learning to push myself even when it’s hard. So that’s the skill we want your kids to learn. And so that’s what we need your help with as parents, is to be responsible for helping us teach them to push themselves. We’re partners with you in that, but you guys got to be part of that as well. Otherwise, they won’t get those skills. Anything else to add for parents right now?

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

I do. We expect the parents to recognize and celebrate the positive events that are happening in their kid’s class, kid’s life. Not even just in class, but at home and at school and bring to our attention so we can make a big deal of it and really celebrate it for their kids so that we’re building their kids’ self-esteem because the parents let us know what’s happening in their kids’ lives that’s positive. Not just when they’re in trouble, when they can’t do something, but every time they do something good, every time they’re doing something that builds them and improves them, we want to know about it and it’s the parent’s responsibility to let us know that.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

Absolutely. And right behind you next to your head is the personal victory poster that we have about how we reinforce. We have a system for reinforcing these behaviors, that they get stars taped onto their belt every time they do something that you feel proud of. I remember one parent came into the school, and it’s very easy to give the stars out, for some of the parents that are our students, a lot of you guys don’t give enough of these out. We give you the control of giving these stars out and I had two extremes. One parent who every time she came in, she’d just write he did something … Basically if there’s a sheet of paper and she’d just have him draw an X on it and then she’d say, “We need to give him a star for artwork.” Well ,that wasn’t effective because you’re not giving him a reward.

You’re not letting us give him a reward when he did something extra. So if your kid always gets As, it’s a challenge. If he’s always perfect in school, it’s a challenge. You got to come up with what they’re doing extra and then that’s what we reward them for. We can reward him for getting As of course, too, but we want to be rewarding behavior that’s at their maximum. Not so that’s too hard, but it’s hard enough. And then I see the other extreme where they’re not rewarding the kids at all. They’re not helping pay attention to those kind of activities they’re doing in their life. They’re not tying that into what they’re doing in our martial arts classes, but it’s not even about that. It’s not they’re not paying attention to it themselves because maybe there’s another kid that got all As and the parent’s like, “Great, my kid gets all As,” but they don’t notice it because they’re always getting As.

We often have that problem. When our kids are doing something, or for us, we train our instructors, to pay attention when people are consistently doing stuff well. A lot of times we forget to pay attention to that because it’s expected now. Maybe with your partner and spouse even. Maybe they do a lot of things really good and we want to pay … What are the things they do really good all the time? We are really good at finding out the things they do bad. We’re experts at figuring out the things that they might do bad, so maybe that’s an example, but teaching kids to push themselves is the fundamental part of this. All right, so from there, after parent, what’s our responsibilities as a black belt? So once they become black belt, a black belt, they get our black belt pin that looks like this for anybody who can see up close.

And I don’t know if that was in focus. There you go. They get a black belt pin that they can wear not just in the school, but everywhere. They can wear it outside. And we don’t want them to wear it at school where they get fallen off. But when you’re wearing a little bit more formal wear, when I wear a suit jacket, it always has the black belt pin on it. So that’s a symbol of being responsible not just inside the school, but outside the school. What are some ways that you guys would mention that our black belts are responsible outside of the school because they’re black belts?

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

Part of it’s just showing the life skills. Sorry, go ahead.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

Go ahead, Mr. Flees.

Mr. Dwayne Flees:

Yeah, especially their behavior that they’re demonstrating in public. A lot of people would know that they’re a black belt and they attend our academy, so their behaviors are going to have to behave accordingly so they can set the example for other students and other families.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

Yeah, we wouldn’t want one of our black belts being at the playground behaving badly. And if I ever saw one of them, and I have because I go to schools a lot and/or all in the past and seeing some of our students at the schools. And if they’re a black belt, we would expect them to be paying attention to being nice to the other kids and being respectful to the other kids and all the other skills that are part of our charter. We want them to be responsible for that outside of the school, so being a black belt doesn’t mean in the school you say, “Yes, sir,” and, “Yes, ma’am.” We would expect you from day one we teach that they should say yes sir and yes ma’am to their parents at home and teachers at school and that’s how they show courtesy. That’s on day one when somebody walks in, but black belts, we expect them to do it on their own without any reminders.

I think that’s a big piece is black belts we’d expect to do all this stuff on their own without any reminders. Master Sanborn, you were going to say something about it?

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

Yes, sir.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

Or did we steal it?

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

Pretty much, yeah. Basically, it’s showing all the things we’ve talked about over the past several months about the charter. Those are things that we expect those when you become a black belt and as you continue on a black belt path towards your next black belt, that you’re showing the parts of the charter, you’re taking responsibility. You are honest. People can recognize it. I was thinking kids, too, in school and a teacher should be able to look at a kid in class and their behavior and go, “Yeah, I heard you got a black belt. I can tell.” It shows that you are a leader, you do what you’re told, you get your work in on time and the teacher should be able to just know that pretty fast with a kid that’s starting their class, even if they’ve never met them before.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

Perfect. Yeah, the big summary of that is the behavior that we expect in the school is the behavior to show outside of our school. And that’s true of our adult students, our kid students, and even more, especially our instructors, which is next. Our responsibility as an instructor. I mean, to me, this is one of the biggest responsibilities that we have because we’re the ones providing all the stuff we just talked about and making sure the charter is implemented with all of our students. So the instructor is symbolized and senior master is wearing her white uniform today and it’s got a black stripe around the neck and that symbolizes the yoke of responsibility, like in the old days when an ox would get pulled in the field and they would have the yoke around them. That’s what they call it and they’d plow the field and be working really, really hard so that they could have a harvest.

And that’s what instructors, that’s what the black collar symbolizes, is that yoke of responsibility so that we work hard so that all the students can gain these capabilities and gain these skills that we’re leading them to have. And part of that responsibility is training, constant training. The students are, all you guys are training, all the instructors are training all the time to get better, better, better. In fact, we had you last time, Mr. Flees. You guys were on our instructor class, which we need to kind of tie that together more and build that up. But you guys even came in from all across the country and it was late in the day for you guys, but you guys were still there, so we appreciated that. What other things do instructors have to be responsible about or your thoughts are about instructors’ responsibility.

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

Creating new black belts. Being an ambassador out in the public, that when we meet people, we’re not … Shame just the wrong word. We’re not shy about talking about being a black belt and inviting other people to come in and become black belts and learning the same behavior and passing it on so that it becomes the culture wider out and not just in the school. So being an ambassador, creating new black belts, and getting new people in to become black belts.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

Yeah, I met one instructor who would not tell anybody. Not in our school, but wouldn’t tell anybody they’re black belt because they say, “Well, I don’t want to be a show off,” or, “I don’t want people to think I’m going to be fighting or something.” But really the opposite is true. We want you to be proud of being a black belt. And when people ask you about it, you tell them about it. You tell them what a black belt’s being about and that’s not about you. It’s about these things, that our black belts take responsibility to lead with integrity. That’s what they do all the time. And our instructors, as you just said, part of their job is in the create black belts, in the school create black belts, so in both places. In our school, they’re doing it by teaching. In the community, we’re doing it by sharing who we are and what we do and then sharing it with them so that they can come in and do martial arts.

And we don’t shy away from that, that part of our role as instructors is to bring other people in because we know that this is going to be valuable for them, so it’s in their best interest to be part of what we do. Anything to add there, guys, or Mr. Flees?

Mr. Dwayne Flees:

Just to set the example by setting your goals for your next testing and midterm.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

I was going to say that when you got me there. That’s right. In fact, we’re in black belt goal setting season now and one of the things that we do in black belt goal setting season is we set our goal for our next two big events, two big ranks. And in my case it would be ninth degree black belt and Grand Master. So we set our goal and I have a sheet at the school that has what year I would expect to test for a ninth degree black belt. 2027, in the summer of 2027, and then become a grand master the next year, in 2028. That’s my goal. And Senior Master Sanborn’s got her goal for eighth degree and chief master up on the wall at the school. And Mr. Flees, you got yours up. So these are things that we take responsibility for, being role models for the students in all these different ways, in how we act, and how we behave, and how we look forward to new goals in the future. Good. Anything else to add to that?

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

Yes. Part of that is just telling your own story to other people because you don’t know what your story might impact somebody else to becoming a black belt, to physically training mentally and making that difference in somebody else’s life because you told your story to them. So you’re not ashamed of it. You’re putting it out there for people. And mine is pretty ordinary. I was just a mom and I took class that I loved it and that’s how I got started. So when I tell other women about that, they’re like, “Oh.” I’m like, “Yeah, I was not athletic. I was not any particular out there, all beefy or anything. I just needed to get some exercise.” And when I tell them that, it’s a personal story for me, but it’s also for them just that’s not spectacular start for any reason. It just went that way for me. So telling your story to somebody allows them to look at it like that’s achievable for me, too.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

Yeah, being vulnerable with other people about your story and how the challenges you might’ve had, it helps other people feel like they can connect with you. So I like that very much that the idea is, as a black belt, we don’t want to … On one hand I just said it doesn’t look like showing off, but you could act like it’s showing off. Well, I’m a black belt and in your case, Senior Master Sanborn, a world champion and everything, too. So people could hear that part of your story and think you were super, super tough from the beginning, but to share that it was you were doing it for exercise and you had challenges along the way, then it makes people feel like they can connect with you. And I think for all of us, that’s the way it is. Now, some of our instructors are super physically talented from the get-go and it was easy for them in a way on that component, but we’ve pushed them hard enough so it’s hard enough in other ways and they can share those stories.

Okay, good. Well, I didn’t have anything to add really for responsibility except for how we take responsibility in the world. I think we’ve kind of covered that. Our students, our parents, our instructors, our black belts all are from symbolized by the pen, are responsible for themselves and their environment in the school and out of the school. And if for you guys as parents that are teaching your kids and you want them to learn this type of responsibility outside of school and outside of our art school and outside of your household, then all these things can get modeled in our martial arts school in these ways that we’ve talked about. Anything else to add there about taking responsibility in the world?

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

No, I think it’s pretty much out there when you talk to other people and you act like a black belt when you’re out there. Yeah, it’s just not keeping it in the school.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

And I think it applies to your relationship, your careers. We mentioned some examples of excuses versus responsibility with the relationships, but that’s true of careers and it’s true of your own personal growth. So when we’re outside and we can get better or we can be really clear on what we are responsible for, what we have control over, and that we’re responsible for everything around that we have control, it can help us grow as people as well. All these things will help us grow individually and help everybody around us. So I think that’s it for responsibility today. Next time we’re going to talk about leading with integrity and wrap up our KarateBuilt Charter podcast series. Any last thoughts, guys?

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

No, I feel like we covered that pretty well.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

All right, well, thanks a lot everybody and we appreciate you guys being here and watching on the podcast. And thanks, Senior Master Sanborn. Thanks, Mr. Flees, and you guys have a great day.

Sr. Master Laura Sanborn:

All right. Thank you, sir.

Dr. Greg Moody, Chief Master Instructor:

All right. Bye, sir.

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About Dr. Greg Moody:  Dr. Moody is an eighth-degree black belt and chief master instructor.  He has a Ph.D. in Special Education from Arizona State University (along with a Master’s Degree in Counseling and a Bachelor’s Degree in Engineering – he actually is a rocket scientist). He has been teaching martial arts for over 25 years and has owned eight martial arts schools in Arizona and California. Chief Master Moody is a motivational speaker and educator and teaches seminars in bullying, business, and martial arts training, around the world. See more at DrGregMoody.com.

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