This was another Father’s Month “What Karate Means to Me” essay  from Mr. Frank Vargas…

Let’s be honest: most adults join martial arts “just for the workout”… and a few months later, they’re leading the family toward Black Belt.

That’s exactly what happened with Frank Vargas.

What started as “just a healthy activity” with his special needs son Michael turned into a transformation for the entire family. This is the kind of story that reminds us what KarateBuilt Martial Arts is really about: not just kicks and blocks, but character, connection, and community. What our charter is about!

In this essay, Frank shares how:

• His son’s confidence grew from unstable stances to solo classes by choice

• His wife went from cheerleader to orange belt (go Charlie!)

• He lost weight, gained energy, and finally found an exercise he doesn’t hate

• And how a skeptical dad became a leader and role model inside and outside the school

But what hits hardest? The community. The cheering. The camaraderie. The realization that this isn’t just a class—it’s a life-changing journey you take with others who believe in you.

Read the full essay below. And if you think this only happens to “other families,” think again. Because at KarateBuilt, martial arts is more than you think.

What Karate Has Meant to Me – Frank Vargas…

Tae Kwon Do has meant much more to me than I originally thought it would. At first, I saw it as just a fun activity that I could enjoy alongside my special needs son, Michael. I thought it would be a healthy way for both of us to stay active, and I also looked forward to sparring with others as a means of getting some exercise. In fact, I distinctly remember saying, more than once, that I wasn’t too concerned with earning a black belt – I was simply doing it for the physical benefits and for some quality time with Michael. Fast forward several years, and I am pleasantly surprised at how deeply Tae Kwon Do has enriched my life, bringing benefits to myself and my family that I never expected. 

Of course, Tae Kwon Do has indeed been a fun shared activity with Michael. Watching him improve physically and emotionally has been one of the most rewarding parts of this journey. When we started, Michael had challenges with strength, coordination, and balance, but now I see him consistently break green boards in class and maintain his balance in listening position, both things that he could not do in the beginning. His newfound confidence is evident – he’s even asked to attend classes independently because he wants to take on challenges on his own. For me, these milestones are proof of how much Tae Kwon Do has positively impacted his life. 

But Tae Kwon Do has evolved into so much more than just a fun activity for Michael and me. It has become a family affair. Our entire family has been involved in one way or another. Michael and I practice our forms together at home, while my wife and younger son assist by reading out the moves to us from the book. There are countless moments of collaboration – my wife holding boards and pads to help Michael practice breaking boards or trying to get his kicks higher. The dedication of my wife, Charlie, is particularly meaningful to me. She’s attended every tournament to cheer me on and support me, demonstrating her unwavering commitment not only to me but also to the values Tae Kwon Do represents. Recently, Charlie earned her own orange belt, a symbol of her growth and dedication to this martial art. Watching her progress has made me proud, and I’m so glad we’re all part of this shared journey together. 

For me personally, Tae Kwon Do has also been an incredibly effective and enjoyable physical activity, especially as a 55-year-old man. Traditional forms of exercise have never appealed to me. I’ve often found them boring, which made it difficult to stick with a consistent workout routine. However, Tae Kwon Do has provided me with a dynamic and engaging way to stay fit. The combination of mental and physical challenges keeps me invested, and I’ve noticed significant improvements in my strength, balance, and coordination. Most importantly, I’ve lost weight, and I feel healthier overall. Despite the occasional fatigue at the end of a long workday, I always leave class feeling energized. Even on days when I don’t feel like going, I am always grateful that I did. The excitement of sparring, learning new techniques, and seeing progress in my own abilities motivates me to keep going. It’s not just exercise – it’s rewarding. 

One of the biggest surprises of my Tae Kwon Do experience has been the sense of community I’ve found within it. When I first started, I didn’t fully anticipate the camaraderie and support that would come from being part of this martial art. I love working with the lower-ranking belts and striving to be a positive role model for them. It’s rewarding to see others’ progress, and I take great pride in helping them, whether through technique or simply offering encouragement. The respect I have for the instructors is immense – they not only possess a wealth of knowledge but also impart their wisdom with patience and humility. I’ve learned that Tae Kwon Do is not just about mastering physical skills, but also about embodying virtues like discipline, integrity, and respect. 

The sense of belonging is palpable in every class. There’s a collective spirit of encouragement, where every student, regardless of their rank, supports each other. The positive energy in the class is 

contagious, and it’s not unusual for us to cheer for each other’s achievements, both big and small. It’s a welcoming environment where all skill levels are valued and not judged, and this mutual support is one of the things that has made Tae Kwon Do so meaningful for me. During tournaments, the sense of sportsmanship is inspiring. I’ve met so many incredible people from all walks of life, all striving toward similar goals, and I’ve learned just as much from my competitors as I have from my instructors. These friendships, both on and off the mat, have enriched my life in ways I never expected. 

Thinking back on my earlier days in Tae Kwon Do, when I used to say that I didn’t care much about earning a black belt, I can’t help but laugh now. As I’ve progressed, I’ve come to realize how important that goal is to me. Becoming a black belt isn’t just about earning a new rank – it represents the culmination of years of effort, discipline, and growth. I’m incredibly proud of what I’ve achieved so far, but I know that it’s only the beginning. Tae Kwon Do is a journey, not a destination, and I’m eager to continue my path, always striving for improvement. 

In addition to my technical skills, I care deeply about the qualities that Tae Kwon Do nurtures: discipline, respect, and leadership. I want to be a leader and a role model to others, whether they are fellow students, instructors, or members of my community. I’ve seen firsthand how powerful positive influence can be, and I aspire to continue contributing to my community in meaningful ways. 

I’m incredibly grateful for my instructors and my fellow students, whose support and encouragement have made this journey so much more rewarding than I could have imagined. And, of course, I’m thankful for my family, whose involvement has made this experience even more special. Tae Kwon Do has been more than just a physical activity for me—it has become a way of life, shaping who I am and bringing me closer to my family and my community. Ultimately, Tae Kwon Do has taught me that it’s not just about the skills you acquire or the belts you earn—it’s about the people you meet, the lessons you learn, and the growth you experience along the way. 

Thank you so much for the excellent essay! You’re a great Black belt and a great Dad!

Chief Master Greg Moody, Ph.D.

Dr. Moody is also a licensed psychotherapist and maintains a practice at Integrated Mental Health Associates (IntegratedMHA.com) where he specializes in couples therapy and men’s issues.